Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
