I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
