he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
