we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
