I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so explain again why im purple
no
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
