WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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