I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The uberlube is also flammable
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
