YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
