What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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