Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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