Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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