I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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