If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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