I'm drive I can fine osifer
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
