If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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