We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
