god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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