Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
