better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
