At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
