I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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