I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
