Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
