thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
