There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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