when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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