it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
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.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
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I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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