And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
