do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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