oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
