I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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