remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
