At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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