? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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