I think I died a long time ago.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
love makes seman taste better
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
