i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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