you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
COCAINE IS GR8
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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