I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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