I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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