Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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