There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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