Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
