i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
