Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
