i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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