you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
