Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
