I bet he comes in French.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
