He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
