I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize