She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
