I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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