whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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