everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
